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Not Letting What's Outside Control Your Inside
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Not Letting What's Outside Control Your Inside

MT 8:23 Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. 24 Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. 25 The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!" 26 He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

The above scripture is a perfect example of things getting really out of control and people freaking out, but Jesus used this crisis to teach them to trust Him in the midst of problems that they could not control. Most of us as addicted people are very sensitive and reactive to the environment around us. This is because of an unhealed inner root of fear that tells us; "unless we keep the outside under control, it will hurt our inside again". We learned early in life to monitor and manage our outside because we felt that things were out of control and threatening as a child. As adults we do peoples jobs for them, we nag and condemn people if they don't do things our way, we manipulate, all in an effort to feel safe and unthreatened.

MT 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

As we recover we are going to have to learn to detach more and more from what is taking place on the outside, and grab onto Jesus who is living on the inside. Control is really just an illusion, and all the worrying and stress we put ourselves and others through by trying to maneuver them into doing things our way just pushes us into a state of emotional overload, and eventually toward another relapse. Like I said, fear is the root of why we feel we need to control our environment. Things like sounds, smells, sights, needs, daily routines, foods and everything else that we could be possibly be denied or harmed by, are things that we work so hard to make sure go our way, while those around us finally get fed up with it and run off.

Below are a few tips and tools we can use to manage threats and needs that take place on the outside of us, and avoid resorting to fearful controlling or using addiction to escape them:

1. Communicate don't ruminate. If there's a problem instead of just stewing and complaining about it, try actually talking to people to solve the problem, this works more than you think.

2. Use the chain of authorities designed to deal with the problem. Go to the offender, then to the chain of command who controls that person (including God) in order to get them to stop.

3. Get better at tolerating, accepting, and being more patient with others around you that do things that you don't like. Trust God to be in control of what you can't be, and pray about it.

4. Get rid of the buttons. Let the Holy Spirit take you back and heal your old fear buttons so they can't be pushed anymore. If you can't change the outside, change how you react to it.

5. Pray, and don't nag or try to control. Pray and give God the time and ability to change the outside or to change you. Prayer does more to change things than complaining will ever do.

JN 14: 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Jesus promised us that we could live in His peace if we would only accept it. Fear and the need for control in us tells us that we can only trust in ourselves to handle things, while faith tells us to trust in God for what we need. If you have a major fear problem, just ask God to either baptize or re-baptize you afresh in His Holy Spirit and that should take care of most of your fear problem because when you feel God is with you in a powerful way, you don't worry. Also, reading our bible helps us to stop trying to control our outside because we see many instances where God protected people including His own Son when threats or needs arose. Life contains needs and threats, so we can either try to control people, or just trust in God.

PHP 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

We would all like to have things perfect (our way) all the time in our lives in order to feel safe and sufficed, but storms are a part of life. Instead of us just freaking out and trying to control everything we must pray and trust God to come and help us. God can help us to get over our fear problem, but we must trust Him "in" the face of a threat or need and not expect Him to just keep all of them away from us. Faith and growth come by facing challenges and then by seeing God help us, not by avoiding them. So are you ready to leave your prison of fear, and to start living and allowing others around you to live without always trying to control them? This is your day to finally be free from fear and worry, so allow Jesus to be in control.

PR 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

2TH 3:3 But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.