Addiction and Forgiveness

Addiction and Forgiveness

During our childhood and our adult life, many people will hurt us and mistreat us. With some of the things that happened, we have done our best to forgive the offender. But some other things we have held onto because either the person did not apologize, we fear the offender will just do it again if we forgive them, or what they did to us is tied to lies that we have believed about ourselves. Some things that happened to us actually traumatized us. This is the definition for trauma; "An emotional wound or shock that creates substantial, lasting damage to the psychological development of a person, often leading to neurosis (nervous disorder, fear of life, anxiety)". When we have been seriously emotionally damaged by an abuse that was done to us by someone else, it can be very hard to forgive what they did because we are afraid. We think that if we forgive them, they will just take advantage of us again, so we harden our heart to protect ourselves from further abusive treatment. But a hard heart is not free to love or be loved. We live in a prison of bitterness that kills us a little more each day.

The problem is, that when we refuse to forgive someone, we then carry that person and the pain they have caused us with us wherever we go, and it poisons our heart, soul, and mind. And the intense pain we live with because of it drives us to destructive addictions to relieve all of that unhealed pain. When you don't forgive someone, it gets stuck in your heart and brain like a clog in the drain, and it keeps you stuck in a cycle of just rehashing your old pain over and over again. That other person that hurt you may not even be thinking about what they did to you, and they are probably just going about their merry little way, oblivious to the pain that you are suffering from. It is a huge waste of time and energy. When we don't forgive, it is like trying to kill your enemy by taking poison yourself, it just hurts you and not them. In the Navy of old, when a crew member killed another crew member, they strapped the dead, stinking, rotting body onto the murderers back as a punishment. That is what it is like when we refuse to forgive others. How many stinking, rotting corpses do you have strapped to your spiritual back right now? Plus, when we don't forgive, it can cause serious health problems to our body that can eventually kill us.

^{LEV 19:18 " `Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor
as yourself. I am the LORD.
You must forgive people for your own sake as much as for theirs because it is all this bitterness
and unforgiveness that keeps fueling your addiction and relapses. You must get rid of the pain to get rid of the pain relievers.
Many terrible things happen to us while we practice addiction, which can make us angry and bitter toward people because they
do so many things that we see as abusive treatment. They reject us, they send us to treatment and detoxes, they kick us out
of our house, they tell other people about our addiction, they divorce us, they fire us, they take things away from us, and
many other things that deeply wound us. These wounds and issues must be worked out in order to let go of your addiction, so
instead of stuffing these hurts down or deadening the pain with addiction, you will have to be willing to let God help you
to sort it all out and see the truth. You see, some of the resentment we carry toward people for things that they did to us
because of our addictions are just not justified. Those people just reacted to our addiction out of love, fear, or ignorance,
and you will see that clearly with enough clean time.
MT 6:14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Another thing unforgiveness does is cut us off from God's help and forgiveness. He said clearly that
if we do not forgive others, then He will not forgive us because it is hypocritical for us to ask Him to forgive us, when
we are not willing to forgive others. Just remember, that whatever someone did to you in life (Christian and Non-Christian),
when they die they will see their life reviewed on a screen and not only will they see what they did to you, but they will
also feel the pain you felt because of what they did. God will reward or punish every person according to what they did in
life both good and bad. Nobody ever gets away with anything in life. Nobody. Someday we will all face justice, and if we have
accepted Jesus Christ as our savior and repented (stopped doing the wrong things and turned to God for forgiveness) we will
be forgiven in Heaven. But if someone does not repent (even Christians), then the bible sais that they will surely pay for
it in their afterlife. So it is critical to not only forgive, but to also ask God and those you have harmed in life and during
your addiction, to forgive you for your sins. Remember also, that hurting people hurt people, so many people hurt us because
of people that hurt them first.
MT 5:43 "You have heard that it was said, `Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 But I tell
you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his
sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
Ask God today to show you whom you have not forgiven, and to whom you are still holding a grudge against.
You may not feel willing to forgive, but just ask God to help you to be willing to become willing. Remember, you are doing
this for yourself as much as for your enemies. Ask the Holy Spirit to speak truth into each trauma and the lies you have believed
about yourself because of what happened. Pray for those people that have mistreated you, and as you do pray for them, that
old pain that has caused your heart to ache because of what they did will become a little less each time. As you do forgive,
your heart will become lighter and lighter, and that scowl you have had on your face for so long will begin to ease up into
something much more pleasant to look at and to be around. Be honest about who you are angry with and why, it may be that your
parents or some other adult abused you, or your spouse left you or took your kids away, or maybe you went to jail for something
you did during your addiction. Jesus was able to ask God to forgive those who had just driven nails into His body as an example
to us of how important it is to forgive. When you forgive from the heart, your pain will be less, and your need for addiction
will also become less. Most of all, forgive yourself so that you can love and accept yourself as a person.
Here is a prayer to pray if you need it.
"Dear Jesus, I ask that you would help me to forgive all those who have harmed me in life, and heal
me from the terrible pain that was caused by what they did to me. I ask you Holy Spirit, to reveal to me any person that I
still have not forgiven toward, and to understand the truth about what really happened when they hurt me, as well as to fully
forgive them and to finally let it all go. God I commit what they did to me into your hands for judgment and justice, and
I am getting out of the judges seat of my life, and putting you back in it. You alone are qualified to judge because you alone
have all the facts about what really happened and why, and you alone know the offender's heart. I ask that you would forgive
me God for my sin of not forgiving, and I just by faith right now, forgive any and all people who have ever hurt me. Thank
you for forgiving my many sins Lord Jesus, and for paying my price on the cross for my sins. In Jesus name I pray, amen".

Some scriptures to help you.
MT 18:21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when
he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
MT 18:22 Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
MT 18:23 "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.
24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay,
the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
MT 18:26 "The servant fell on his knees before him. `Be patient with me,' he begged, `and I will pay
back everything.' 27 The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
MT 18:28 "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred
denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. `Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.
MT 18:29 "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, `Be patient with me, and I will pay
you back.'
MT 18:30 "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay
the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything
that had happened.
MT 18:32 "Then the master called the servant in. `You wicked servant,' he said, `I canceled all that
debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34 In
anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
MT 18:35 "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from
your heart."
RO 12:17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave
room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."
RO 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
GE 50:15 When Joseph's brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, "What if Joseph holds a
grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?" 16 So they sent word to Joseph, saying, "Your father
left these instructions before he died: 17 `This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the
sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.' Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your
father." When their message came to him, Joseph wept.
GE 50:18 His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. "We are your slaves," they said.
GE 50:19 But Joseph said to them, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm
me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don't be afraid.
I will provide for you and your children." And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.
LK 12:45 But suppose the servant (a Christian) says to himself, `My master is taking a long time in
coming,' and he then begins to beat the menservants and maidservants and to eat and drink and get drunk. 46 The master of
that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces
and assign him a place with the unbelievers.}