((I Corinthians 10:12)So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that your don’t fall.)

After the Holy Spirit shows you your character defects and the wrong things that you may be doing that contribute to your addiction, He will walk with you throughout a day. And when you are doing something the old wrong way (the lie), He will lovingly but firmly tell you to stop what you are doing, and help you to walk in the new right way He has shown you (the truth). As an example, maybe you are feeling really fearful because you don't have your old addiction to run to for emotional security, so you are trying to control those around you with criticism, manipulation, or condemnation. The Holy Spirit will then tap you on the shoulder and remind you of the truth, "It is My job to manage people not yours, you must be willing to be tolerant and patient with others, and just focus on letting Me help you fix your own faults". Since controlling others is just an illusion anyway, you will just frustrate yourself into wanting to relapse if you try to do it. So really, He is just helping you to walk in the truth and prevent the overload you usually put yourself into by trying to control everything around you to feel in control and protected. God is God, we are not.

Or maybe you have weak boundaries with people so that they take advantage of you and place more of a load on you than you should bear, so you end up in a state of overload because of it. The Holy Spirit will help you to walk in the truth by telling you "You are being over-responsible to gain others approval, or to control things around you to protect yourself. You need to let people do what I require of them, and just do what I require of you". The pressure you can feel from being over-responsible for others can drive you into overload really fast, so we need to let God show us what we are really responsible for, and leave the rest in His hands. Fear, and the resulting need to control and protect yourself, can be a powerful driving force in causing you to relapse because you are taking on too much of a load to bear. Don't you think it would be kind of silly to try to carry around a 500 pound backpack around all the time? Jesus said that taking on His load for you would be light, not heavy. If you grew up with an angry controlling parent then controlling by over-serving used to be your only defense that kept that angry monster (controller) from attacking you. So not doing this can feel very threatening at first because your old fear alarms will go off telling you that you must be doing something to please everyone around you to feel protected. You may have learned to become a fearful false peacemaker by doing everything for everyone around you, but this is abnormal and unhealthy. The Holy Spirit retrains us so that we learn to be aware of the wrong ways we do things, so that we can learn to do things the right way and live life in a healthy manner.

As you continue to take personal inventory and when you are wrong, promptly admit it, it will free you up to be able to change. God will re-parent you the right way and you will see that it is not the end of the world to admit that you have a problem with your character that needs to be corrected. God loves you, and just wants to help you, not condemn you. Facing your faults and apologizing is the bridge to changing and becoming healthy. Having wrong behaviors doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, it just means that there is something in your thinking that got messed up when you were young, and now God is correcting all those old lies with His truth so that you can change. God loves you just as you are, and He is able to separate who you are, from what you do. Do you throw your kids out just because they have problems? Well neither does God. We are all a work in progress, and we are all needing to change in different areas. Which would you rather do, never admit you have a problem and stay stuck in your same old harmful behaviors, or admit it when you have missed it and let God fix you? It may be hard to face the truth about yourself, but the problem is there whether you admit it or not. We must allow God to help us to see and face the truth to live truly free. We must lay down our pride to change.

As you walk through each day, read your bible, and pray, the Holy Spirit will bring things up about your character and behavior that He wants to work on and change in you. He accepts us as we are, but He loves us too much to leave us that way. He knows that you don't like behaving in certain ways toward people, but that you feel like you have to, to protect yourself. He will just tell you the truth and the lie about what you are doing, what started the behavior in the first place, and He will then help you to learn to do the right thing. The Holy Spirit is called the Counselor and Teacher because that's what He does in our lives. He counsels and teaches us so that we can change for the better. God likes to keep things simple and we should let Him. Face your faults, apologize quickly if you do the wrong thing, and then do the right thing. At first, this may seem painstaking to constantly have to be aware of the right and wrong ways that you are doing things, but in time you will see that old dysfunctional behavior change, and you will just naturally be doing the right things. You have the new nature of Jesus Christ living in you, but we have spent many years walking in the old sinful nature first. The foundation of lies connected to our old nature must be exposed and dismantled so that we can then embrace our new nature. You cannot change yourself alone, but as you cooperate with His daily work, you will see change.

Here is a prayer to pray if you need it.

"Dear God, I ask that you would continue to show me every area of my character and behavior that still needs to change. Help me to understand what needs to change in me and how I am supposed to actually make the change. I know Jesus, that you are only doing this for my good, and to help me. Lord, I offer myself to you unconditionally to receive the truth about myself without making anymore excuses. Help me also God, to apologize quickly to those I commit the old wrong behaviors against, and to accept myself and others as a work in progress, rather than as failures. I love you Lord and I thank you that your new nature lives in me already, and is changing and transforming me every day. In Jesus name I pray, amen."

Some scriptures to help you.