Step 8. Spiritual Principle: DISCIPLINE

Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

((Luke 6:31) Do to others as you would have them do to you.)

Step 9. Spiritual Principle: BROTHERLY LOVE

Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

((Mathew 5:23-24)Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.)

Making a list of all the people we have harmed with our addiction, and then being willing to make an amends to them, is a big step toward recovery. You see, we carry around such a load of guilt and shame over all the terrible things that we have done during our addiction, and it is this pain that fuels our need to practice the addiction to relieve the pain. It is a vicious cycle that can only end when true repentance, forgiveness, and restitution is made. Timing is everything though, so once again we must ask the Holy Spirit when the time is right to make amends, and just how we should go about it. If you try to make amends at the wrong time, or in the wrong way, you could just end up making the situation worse. Sometimes people need time to heal from what we have done to them, and they need to see that we have actually turned away from our harmful behavior before they are willing to forgive and accept our restitution. We must keep in mind that we have broken many of these peoples trust a number of times, so they are afraid to be hurt by us again. God knows exactly what needs to happen to reconcile a wrong that we have committed against someone, so we must be patient and let Him lead us in this area of our recovery. If you wait on His timing, everything will turn out for good and things can be healed.

I remember when God decided I was finally ready to take steps 8 and 9, and the Holy Spirit began to talk to me about all the different people that I needed to make things right with. He told me each person that I had wronged and what I needed to do to make things right in each case. The Holy Spirit waited until I had been free from my addiction for a while and for the people I had harmed to heal enough to receive my apology and/or effort to make amends. He showed me in each case exactly what needed to be done to pay each person back. A few people He said to just leave them alone and pray for them every day as an amends. The main thing was just knowing exactly who it was that I had harmed, and how I had harmed them. I needed to become willing to do whatever God wanted me to do to make the amends, and just going and doing it no matter how hard it was, or what it cost me.

If you are willing to trust God in this area of making amends, He will help you to do it right. Your heart needs to be ready to take this step as well. One thing you can always do to prepare the way so to speak, is to take the list you made of the people you need to make the amends with, and pray for them every day. Prayer really works and it will help to heal their hearts and yours from the trauma and pain that was caused. When you pray for someone it gives God permission to work in their lives and to help them; it is the best gift and means of amends you could give to someone. As far as paying back money, or working for someone to pay them back, He will show you what you need to do and also give you what you need to give them. Taking these two steps will make all the difference in the world for you, and to those whom you have harmed. It will help to set things right and pave the way for restoration and reconciliation with that person. When they see that you are willing to do whatever is necessary to heal the wounds you have caused, their heart will soften and most of the time they will be willing to forgive you.

Here is a prayer to pray if you need it.

"Dear God, I ask that you would show me whom I have created a debt with during my time of practicing addiction, and help me to make amends for what I have done to them. I offer myself to you this day, unconditionally, to do whatever you want me to do in order to mend this relationship. Help me to trust in your timing God, and to be patient and wait until you tell me who, what, when, and how to make the amends with each person that I have wronged. I ask also God, that you would prepare the hearts of the people that I need to make the amends with so that they are truly willing to receive what I do to make things right with them. I thank you Lord for helping me to repair the damage that I have done to people, and for giving me a chance to help to make amends for how I have harmed people. I ask this all in Jesus' precious name, amen".

Some scriptures to help you.