Most people who have led addicted lives also seem have an addiction to control everything and everyone around them. We do this because of a deep fear of life because of things that have happened to us while we are young. If you have ever been abandoned, abused, neglected, or experienced any kind of traumatic event that made you feel like your life was out of control with no protection, then you may possibly become a control addict as an adult. When you face a threat as a child even if it is just a parent's divorce, it can make you feel unsafe and unprotected so you make a vow in your little heart that goes something like this "When I am older, I will never let anyone else be in control of my life; I will stay in control". Because of this, as adults we become control freaks and create really stressful environments for those that have to live with us. We control to protect ourselves because we fear being harmed again.

Here are some symptoms of people with a control addiction:

1. You are the one who cleans and cooks everything in your house because order is safety and you must be in control of making sure that your needs are always met.

2. You serve others in order to make them dependent upon you so that you can be in control of what they do, and thus be in control of them. You serve in order to control.

3. You ask people what their plans are so that you can head them off at the pass and manipulate things to where your desires and safety are assured first and never denied.

4. You hoard and hide things in order to make sure that you are never without and you keep a close watch over who uses what in your home so that you are never deprived.

5. You must be the one to be in control of a conversation and any pauses are quickly filled in with something you say. You may also cut people off, or be abusive to control.

6. You have a need to feel in control of, or you feel threatened by the control an authority figure has over you. This can cause serious problems with leaders in life.

7. You are critical and condemning toward people and oversensitive when you are criticized. Seeing people's flaws becomes a weapon to defend yourself and control.

8. Being too controlling with things that are more difficult to control like pets or small children where they are constantly being unfairly trained to accommodate your will.

9. You may become violent or abusive if someone defies your control, or you may just reject or ignore them. Either way the primary goal is to dominate in order to control.

10. You are the one that has to be in control of all the money that comes into the house and many times controllers hide money or keep a secret stash just in case.

These are just some of the things that people do that are controlling but you must remember that all control is based on a fear of life because of some past traumatic event. People that are controlling usually end up alone or divorced because nobody wants to live with someone who is never happy with them and who always makes their home feel like a prison. Our families need a loving leader, not a tyrant. All people were created with certain spiritual human rights and when we deny them natural _expression and the ability to say no to us without punishing them, it tends to make them want to go somewhere else. If you have an addiction to control just ask God to help you with it and He will. He will begin showing you how the problem got there, when you are doing it, and how to change and to stop unfairly controlling others. In time you will get better and better at it and the roots that drive your fear and need for control will be healed.

Here is a prayer to pray if you need it:

"Dear God, you have seen the problem that I have with trying to control everything and everyone around me and I ask that you would help me to change. I have not trusted you to be in control of my life so I have made myself my own God in your place to feel in control. Please forgive me for walking in fear and for trying to control things that only you alone are supposed to be in control of, and help me to not do it anymore. Thank you God for forgiving me and for helping me to overcome this terrible problem. I know that you will help me to change Lord. In Jesus name I pray, amen".

Here are some scriptures to help you: