Being In Control Of Our Pain and Pleasure
MK 5:5 Night and day among the tombs and in the hills he
would cry out and cut himself with stones.
When we have been hurt or traumatized as children it can cause us to make a vow
in our heart that we alone will be in control of our pain and the pleasure we use to relieve that pain once we can be. We
adopt pleasure habits when we are young like food or drug addictions, self-injury, sexual perversions, or whatever else we
can use to self-administer pleasure or even pain in order to feel in control of our pleasure and pain. Making a vow of self-protection
and extreme avoidance of pain is very common amongst people with addiction problems. Even smoking or using profanity
is a good indicator that a control/protection vow is there.
Many people considered to be loners are simply people that have been traumatized and
who have had their trust in people and life severely damaged. We can go into a survival mode where we cannot let our guard
down, or be who we naturally are because we have our threat radar on all the time, and to be vulnerable and natural would
mean being unprotected and endangered. You might have noticed though that with enough pleasure available as a security net
that people are willing to be more natural and sociable. But the dilemma we run into is that we will always need an addiction
in order to face life, and we would never be free.
PS 69:29 I am in pain and distress; may your salvation, O God, protect
me.
God wants us to begin to trust Him "in" our pain and fear, and to heal us from all
that has been driving our need for pleasure idols in our life. The root of most addiction is a fear of pain without self-protection,
and a belief that only we and our addictions can protect us. The truth of course is actually quite the opposite.
Addiction gives us the illusion of being in control and protected, but it actually strips us of our ability to control
and protect ourselves, and it puts us into the hands and control of others. Your most powerful and safe state will be
when you can live without addictions, not with them. Addiction is a con and liar plain and simple.
The problem with living with no addictions is that we become oversensitive, aggressive,
defensive, and we overreact to any perceived threat. This does diminish though in time when we see that we are actually much
more protected and in control when the addictions are gone. When we learn to pray and receive God's help and pleasure,
rather than running to addiction we receive the real help and happiness we seek. God cannot be controlled, but He can
be trusted. Even if God does not do what you want, when you want it; He will give you what you actually need. Let
God be in control of your pain and pleasure and find peace.
PS 32:7 You are my hiding place; you will protect
me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
