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The Dangers Of Not Forgiving
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The Dangers Of Not Forgiving

GE 4:6 Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it." 8 Now Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let's go out to the field." And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.

When someone has wronged us or someone else that we care about it creates an unpaid debt in our hearts and we hold that person in an imaginary jail cell until we feel that justice has been fully served. We want that person to either apologize to us, change, or to receive some kind of punishment from God or someone else, and then and only then will we truly forgive them. Oh sure, we may say hello to them if we really have to, but inwardly we can still hate and reject them until we feel that they are truly sorry for what they did to us. Many of us have been angry with our parents or our siblings for years over things they either did, or failed to do in our lives long ago. These people remain locked up in the prison of our hearts.

HEB 12:15 See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

The problem is, there is a price that we and other innocent people will pay when we refuse to forgive someone. Forgive and live; refuse and lose. Below are some of the consequences that we and others face when we refuse to forgive our offenders and enemies from our heart.

1. The anger and hatred in us can grow until it becomes a root of bitterness that we take out on other poor innocent people around us. We may end up unfairly punishing our spouse for something that one of our parents did long ago, and they finally get sick of it and leave us.

2. We retain emotional pain that we usually just end up trying to treat with various forms of destructive addictions. These addictions in turn create more emotional pain not just for us, but for those around us. Unforgiveness creates a chain of pain that just goes on and on.

3. We can become more and more abusive toward people where it can escalate from verbal abuse to physical/sexual abuse, or even murder later on (if certain buttons are pushed or the wounds get bad enough). Prisons are full of people that didn't forgive, and who finally lost it.

4. The bible says that when we don't forgive others, God will not forgive us, so we may be running around with a lot of sin still clinging to us because we won't forgive someone else from our heart. I don't know about you, but I cannot afford to be cut off from God's daily help.

5. When we hate someone we can actually focus negative spiritual energy at them and be practicing witchcraft that brings a curse back upon us. Witchcraft is not just a bunch of old hags chanting around a cauldron, it's sending or desiring spiritual harm upon someone else.

6. We can bring judgment upon ourselves for judging others. So rather than receiving grace from God and man when we sin, all of the sudden we will be getting caught, exposed, and being punished for things that we would have otherwise been forgiven and shown mercy for.

7. We can create health problems in our body and attract demons into our lives when we refuse to forgive. Unforgiveness is like spiritual poison and it slowly eats away at anything good in our lives. Why should you keep paying the price for what someone else once did?

2CO 5:10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.

One of the main reasons that we don't want to forgive is that we by nature demand justice. We want the offender to pay for what they did to us so that they will never do it again. The problem is, we may never get an apology and the offender will just go on their merry way, while we sit and suffer for nothing. We must understand though, that nobody ever gets away with anything in God's kingdom, whether they are a Christian or not. Literally everything we do, say, or think here on earth is recorded in heaven, so unless someone has truly repented of their wrongdoings here and apologized to God and to us for what they did, then their debt remains, and they will give an account for what they did here whether we forgive them or not.

RO 12:17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

We must think back on the many things that we have done to people whether openly or in secret, and how we did not have to pay for what we did. What if all of those people that we hurt or sinned against demanded justice for what we did? We would all be toast right now. If someone hurts us and sins against us we must learn to forgive them and to leave them in God's justice system, rather than in ours. God has pardoned us countless times. You don't have to let the offender back into your life to hurt you again, but you must release them for peace' sake. Don't allow bitterness and unforgiveness to control your life anymore. Pray for your abusers, leave them in God's hands, and trust that He will deal with them in good time.

LK 6:37 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

I will list a prayer below to help you to forgive people and just try to remember that you are doing this for you and for those that have to live with you. You may not even be aware of who you still hold bitterness and unforgiveness toward, but God knows, and He will tell you if you ask Him to. If we want to experience God's blessing and miracles in our lives, then we must open up all of the jail cells in our heart and let our offenders out. Do you want to stay bitter, or get better? God knows exactly what that person did to you and just how badly what they did hurt you even if the offender doesn't know, or even care about what they did. This is your day to get free and to walk in all that God has for you, so forgive today and live free for good.

COL 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Prayer to pray if you need it:

"Dear God I just forgive (speak out the name of the offender) for (speak out the offense) and I release them right now from all of the sins that they have committed against me or against someone else involved. I now let go of all bitterness, unforgiveness, resentment, and demands and desires for judgment, justice, revenge, retribution, or bad things to happen to them that I have carried in my heart against them. I also release them from all curses that I have spoken against them or their family, and I am going to leave them in your hands and in your justice system from now on. I ask God that you would heal my heart from all of the pain and damage that this persons actions have caused me, and please help me to keep this matter in your hands from now on and to not take it back again. In Jesus name, amen."

Pray this prayer or your own version of this prayer for each offense that you have retained as often as necessary and remember to also pray that God blesses your offender and brings conviction and repentance to their heart so that healing and peace can take place in your heart. Know too, that when you forgive someone they are not "getting away" with anything, you are just leaving them in God's hands to judge, rather than in yours from now on. You might say, "Well you don't know what they did to me, it was so horrible and unforgiveable! " You're right, I do not know what they did to you, but God does, and I do know what it is like to forgive someone of unspeakable wrongs against me, and against those whom I love.

Some extra scriptures to help you:

MT 5:43 "You have heard that it was said, `Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.


GAL 5:19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

PS 38:3 Because of your wrath there is no health in my body; my bones have no soundness because of my sin.

LK 11:4 Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation.