Spirit-Led Recovery From Addiction

Handling Rejection without Self-Destructing

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Handling Rejection without Self-Destructing

When you are a spiritually/emotionally/chemically sensitive person, all pain is amplified to you including and especially someones unfair rejection or inconsiderate treatment. When we get rejected or when we feel slighted, it can hurt us more deeply than others and since we already have a fear problem, we may want to lash out at the offender to feel vindicated and re-protected and valued again. We can be oversensitive and overreact to harm more easily than others when someone hurts us which can cause alot of problems with our ability to maintain healthy relationships with people, so we must either change or live life alone. Most of us have to work and be around hurtful people. Rejection and slights will come in life, so the key is for us to change how we respond and react when they happen. People can be very insensitive while we are being oversensitive, so being around people will mean getting hurt sometimes.

We get so hurt from someones mistreatment for several reasons, one reason which I already mentioned is that we are usually more sensitive and thus more "harm-able" by others. Plus we can reach out our spiritual "feelers" and know someone much more easily than they can know us, so we think that they should already know us like we know them, and we don't realize they are just ignorant of who you are and that you have to communicate with them more openly and teach them who you are. People need alot of patience, including and especially us. Another reason rejection hurts us so much is that we have believed lies about ourselves that we are evil and unworthful which have caused a deep wound of self rejection in us. So when someone slights or insults us it touches on this lie and unhealed wound of self-rejection and it makes us confront the original lie that we still believe about ourselves, and have worked so hard to refute.

When we lash out at people who reject us, there is usually alot of pain and emotion involved because we are attacking the original abuser that put the lies there in the first place (usually our parents). Try to just deal with the problem at hand and separate your unhealed wound with the actual event that happened. Also, using your addiction to lessen the pain may seem like a good idea at the time, but that will actually just amplify the pain and block you from working through it. Wait for a little while after a rejection or slight has happened, so that your emotions can die down, and then confront the offender, and when you do try to stick to just the offense and not launch a character assassination against them as a form of revenge. Most of how we react after a rejection is about us and the lies we have believed about ourselves, and not about them. Most other people are more thick-skinned than us and they don't offend as easily as us.

Pray about your pain and let God comfort you and heal you from the original wounds that have caused your rejection problem. You can actually project your sense of self-rejection and low self worth at people and cause them to reject you and do the very thing you fear. When you are healed from the original lies, you will project self-esteem and confidence toward others and they will sense and see that you are not an easy target anymore. Jesus was very rejected in life but He knew who He was through God and how much God loved and accepted Him. We must also read the word, listen to Gods voice in prayer, and let Him tell us how much He loves and approves of us. We all have our junk to work on so don't think you are the most evil person in the world, that is a lie that satan tries to use on everyone. Just understand that your Father loves you and sees you as a finished product. He sees you many years from now and He knows that you will let Him help you to change. God will never reject you or forsake you so you never have to worry about losing His love or protection. He is with you no matter what you do.

DT 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

HEB 13:5b "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." 6 So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

ISA 53:3 He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. 4 Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. 5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.